


if I bet my heart on you

by androgenius



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Domestic Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Snowed In
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:34:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29543148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/androgenius/pseuds/androgenius
Summary: An attempt at combining all of the prompts for Dimilix Week Day 4 - Secrets / Winter / Academia AUThe mood is perfect: they're snowed in, alone, and their friends are making bets on when they're going to get together. Unfortunately, Dimitri is convinced that his crush on Felix is not even remotely requited.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 6
Kudos: 67
Collections: 2021 Dimilix Week





	if I bet my heart on you

The snow has started visibly piling up on the outsides of the windows by the time Dimitri wakes, the sounds of tires crunching outside a good reminder of what day it is. 

Most of his classmates would have gone home by now. With their last assignments before the break turned in days ago, most of the dormitory is dead silent. Even the cello normally heard in the room next-door is nowhere to be found, its owner home for the long holiday. 

The last time he checked, he was one of the few to stay back at the dormitory. Without a family to really return to, it hardly makes sense for him to go home to little more than servants and maid staff, not when the dorm has felt more like home for several years now.

One of the few other people also staying back is Felix, not that Dimitri is particularly surprised by that choice. He doesn't care for his father on the best of days, and, beyond Rodrigue, he doesn't have anyone he could wish to see over the break, either. 

Under normal circumstances, he'd be worried. 

Even just a couple of weeks spent stuck with Felix in close quarters could be potentially disastrous if no one else were there as a buffer... but Sylvain is staying, too. 

Not that their dormitory would be considered close quarters for most people. Still-- any place smaller than a tri-state area would likely be too small by Felix's standards. 

Getting dressed for the day, Dimitri heads downstairs to the rec room, a brief chill coming through the door as Ashe waves goodbye. "Gonna try and make it home before the blizzard hits! Wish me luck, guys!" 

Guys? Grabbing a carton of milk from the now-unattended snack shop, Dimitri looks around the room. Oh. Just… him and Felix, then. 

"Where's Sylvain?" 

Felix doesn't bother looking up from his book, one leg slung over the chair's arm to dangle. "Left."

"Ah," he says, blinking. "Right. Where to?"

"Home, obviously." 

"I thought he was planning ons staying."

"Well," Felix continues, flipping the page, "he clearly changed his mind."

This is bad. He'd been rather counting on Sylvain to dispel the awkward air between the two of them.

A brief glance outside confirms his fears. He has no idea how Ashe is going to get home in this blizzard, but he supposes that his SUV will fare far better than Dimitri's two-seater would. What he wouldn't give for all-wheel drive right now. 

"Much more of this and we won't be able to open the doors anymore," Dimitri says, which earns him little more than a dismissive grunt from Felix. 

Right. This is dreadful. 

"If you'll excuse me," Dimitri mutters, wincing as he walks away to call Sylvain. 

"What's up, Your Highness?"

Trapping his phone between shoulder and ear, he opens his milk carton with a scowl. "Ah-- yes. Sylvain. Why exactly did you decide to leave?"

"What?"

"The campus," he clarifies, taking the phone back in one hand. "You-- you'd signed up to stay over the holiday."

"Oh, well, sure, but then I saw that none of the girls were staying and that there was a huge blizzard rolling in. Why would I purposely sabotage my chance to get laid when we don't have school for two weeks?"

Of course. Of course that would be a sufficient reason for Sylvain. Now, if only he'd actually marked that on the holiday calendar. 

Sylvain continues. "Also, aren't you two the only ones staying back at the dorm?"

"... yes. Why?"

"Well, because there's literally no one in the world I'd want to be stuck with less during a blizzard."

Dimitri blinks. "I do beg your pardon."

"Yeah, you _should_ be begging. You two have been fucking insufferable."

"We--" This is absurd. There is no _we_ between him and Felix. "Have I been… bothering you somehow, Sylvain?"

"You and that prickly ass both. Don't tell her I said this, but Ingrid and I have a betting pool going on when you two are going to finally fuck? She thinks you won't make it to the end of the break. I think you're both too stubborn-- but now that I've told you, promise me you'll keep it in your pants for two more weeks. Then you two can fuck like rabbits and Ingrid will owe me a good chunk of change."

Silence descends upon the line, Dimitri's fingers having gone tight around his milk carton.

"Dimitri?" Sylvain asks after a while. "Did we get cut off?"

"Ah-- no." He clears his throat. "I… hm." His voice drops to a pained whisper. "Am I… truly… so very transparent?"

"What, about the fact that you're hot for Felix? Yeah. Dude. Everyone knows."

"I would appreciate less crude language while we are discussing the nature of my--" He glances back toward the rec room. Too close. "-- ah, of... that." 

"What, would you prefer me to say that you're in love with him?" A beat passes. Dimitri feels his face heat up as Sylvain seems to catch onto his silence. "-- wait, you're actually serious?"

"I would also appreciate it if we could not make light of the matter at hand," he mutters, anxiously taking a sip of milk. "I was rather counting on you being here to cut through the tension."

"Okay, but it's like... sexual tension, yeah? Don't you want that?"

Ah. Perhaps it's a good thing Sylvain isn't here. "No, I--" Taking several steps more away from the rec room, Dimitri takes in a slow breath. "I… he doesn't want me the way I want him, Sylvain."

"What, carnally? I can guarantee you he does."

 _Romantically_ , he thinks, his tongue refusing to voice his fears. "Goodbye, Sylvain," he says instead, sighing as he hangs up. He'll call Ingrid later. For now, he just needs to do his best to avoid Felix.

&

For a boarding school dormitory capable of housing several dozen students, Dimitri very quickly finds that it is astonishingly difficult to avoid Felix.

Everywhere he turns, there Felix seems to be. Coming down to practice on the piano in the rec room finds him there playing darts by himself. Heading to the kitchen to cook himself lunch finds Felix still there, eating his own food. Going to the library to do research for his senior thesis finds Felix working diligently at one of the tables. 

If it was the other way around, he'd almost think that Felix was stalking him. In his defense, all those places are… common areas. It's not as though he's walking into Felix's bedroom uninvited. 

A bigger problem by far is the bathroom. 

Their dormitory is nice, and the bathroom is no different. There are plenty of toilets throughout the place for everyone, but the showers are communal. 

Something that, on most days, is perfectly fine.

Today, on the other hand, Dimitri steps into the bathroom to hear the water already running, his breath catching as his gaze falls upon Felix, hair cascading down his back as the water runs in rivulets along the lines of his body. 

Felix has always been lithe, all lean muscle and sinewy grace. Not entirely unlike a cat. 

His head falls back, the water pattering off his shoulders, streaming over his front as he runs his hands through his hair. He turns, just briefly, to grab the bottle of shampoo-- far enough to where Dimitri can make out the gentle curve of his cock. 

His foot is still in the door, not wanting the noise to alert Felix. 

Goddess. He really is despicable, isn't he? Even back when Felix still considered him a friend, he never would have dared to-- never would have so much as considered--

He swallows. Allows the door to close.

The room remains silent as he gets changed, Dimitri doing his best to hide his half-hard erection both while pulling off his clothes, and then when walking over to the shower beside Felix's, shower caddy in hand. 

It takes a bit for the water to heat up and Dimitri to step into the stream, his thoughts still on Felix in the stall next-door. He didn't even react to the door closing. To the knowledge that Dimitri might see him. 

Did he know that Dimitri was standing there the whole time?

"You know, boar," Felix's voice comes through the partition as soon as he shuts off the water, startling Dimitri out of his thoughts. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you were stalking me."

Ah. 

He should have expected this. 

He opens his mouth, closes it, and opens it again, Felix already drying off as he goes to get changed. 

If Dimitri had a viable retort, it doesn't come to mind. Not then, and not once Felix is out the door. 

He's not stalking Felix. He just… spent far too long staring at him in the shower. A perfectly normal thing to do-- especially when one is trapped in a building that feels as though it's shrunken by the merit of Felix's existence alone. 

&

By the time the blizzard calms down a bit, the snow is piled knee-high, Dimitri forced to put his whole weight into his attempt at getting the door open before it proves even marginally successful. 

So he sets about shoveling off the sidewalks, desperately eager to get away from his own thoughts-- and Felix's presence around every corner. 

Not that Dimitri can have nice things.

Upstairs, one of the hallway windows unlatches and is pushed out to open, Felix leaning out. "That's a lesson in futility," he tells him, hand propping up his chin, the other gesturing pointedly at the snow still coming down.

He has a point, of course, Dimitri sighing as he sets the shovel down. "Just wanted to make myself useful," he calls back. 

"Well, come back inside. It's freezing."

Dimitri agrees until the window closes before turning around to head through the snow-laden campus. The small grocery store should still be open. With any luck, Felix won't surprise him by popping up behind the counter. 

&

It's late by the time he gets back, Dimitri deciding to put off cooking dinner until later. Instead, he settles into one of the plush chairs of the rec room to start working on one of his scholarship essays. 

Of all the things he misses most about school being in regular session, while the buffer of _other people_ certainly comes in first place, the luxury of a cook to prepare their meals easily takes second place, Dimitri rather dreadfully clumsy with most cooking utensils.

So the last thing he expects is for someone to set a plate of food onto the rec room coffee table in front of him.

No-- not someone. _Felix_.

He can't help it. He stares.

"What," Felix mutters, arms crossed in front of his chest. "I made too much, that's all. No point in letting food go to waste. Don't-- don't get any weird ideas."

Even despite the clear warning written on Felix's features as he moves to sit across from him, Dimitri can't help but smile.

"Thank you, Felix."

"Don't mention it," he grinds out through gritted teeth.

"No-- really, you didn't have to do all this."

"I _said_ ," he continues, glowering darkly, " _don't mention it_."

Dimitri knows how to take a hint, the two of them eating dinner in the rec room in silence until they both get back to work, neither making a move away from their personal little study space. 

"Felix," Dimitri starts after a little while, doing his best not to feel nervous at the prospect of permanently ruining this tentative bit of peace between them, "I was planning to make some tea for myself. Would you care for a cup?"

This time, Felix does look up at him. "... do what you want."

It's as close as Felix comes to a _yes_ , he knows, Dimitri moving to stand with an absent nod. "All right. Then I will."

He remembers Felix's tastes when it comes to tea all too well. Setting about making a proper Almyran pine brew, Dimitri allows himself to sneak occasional glances back toward the rec room. 

The odd sense of peace that has settled between them is one he is loath to disturb, Dimitri watching as the water heater comes to a slow boil. This-- insignificant as studying together may be-- feels like a step in the right direction. 

Even if… rekindling their friendship might prove his crush on Felix even more of a disaster. 

Sighing to himself, he shakes his head. No use in dwelling on _what-ifs_. 

&

Dimitri, as it turns out, is terrible at not dwelling on _what-ifs_.

They've fallen into something of a routine over the last few days, all unspoken. Felix wakes up early to go on his run and shower while Dimitri prepares breakfast for the two of them. Dimitri has his own workout and shower while Felix does the washing up and prepares lunch. They work through most of the day, usually in the rec room or the library, taking turns making dinner. 

It's… nice. Almost as if they're living together. 

And while he certainly wants to improve upon this new… _working relationship_ of theirs, he's scared to. Terrified that, as soon as he opens his mouth to suggest that… perhaps they could cook dinner together or collaborate on their next semester history project as partners, the whole paper house might fall apart in one go. 

Three nights after they first shared dinner together Felix is the one to climb the second rung of their relationship. 

"Boar," he says, pushing a DVD into the player, "I'm going to be watching a movie down here. If you don't want to see it, you can leave."

"And… if I'd prefer to stay and watch it with you?"

Felix hesitates for a heartbeat. Then two. Then three. "Suit yourself."

Dimitri ends up making them popcorn to share, and Felix ends up allowing himself to indulge. 

It's all right as far as movies go, a martial arts action film that Dimitri definitely wouldn't have watched outside of Felix's desire to, but… it's nice to spend time with him, regardless of what they're doing together. 

By the time the credits finish rolling, the room is bathed in darkness. 

"That was good," he says, his voice sounding astonishingly loud in the silence despite his attempt at whispered softness. 

No response.

"Felix?" 

A quick glance over at the couch finds Felix's eyes closed, his breathing even and slow. The gentle rise and fall of his chest is oddly comforting to watch even from a distance, Dimitri realizing after a few moments of staring that he's holding his breath. 

He tries to get up quietly enough that it doesn't startle Felix awake, Dimitri using his phone to light the way to grab a blanket off the back of one of the armchairs. Padding his way back, footsteps thankfully dampened by his socks, he holds his breath anew. Hopefully Felix won't be too cross with him. Hopefully…

As gently as possible, he drapes the blanket over Felix's body, grateful for the fact that he'd already reclined himself along the length of it. Moving him in any way would have probably woken him up, and--

Felix sighs in his sleep, clutching his pillow closer. Not for the first time, Dimitri is reminded of just how pathetic all of this is of him. Here he is, staring at Felix all over again-- while Felix has been going out of his way to be… kind, he thinks. Making him dinner, letting him watch a movie with him, sharing a bowl of popcorn-- even establishing a routine with him feels oddly intimate. 

It could be basic human decency. It could also be him viciously reading into things. If this is just a matter of convenience for Felix… 

He sighs, glancing up at the television screen, still faintly illuminated and bathing the outline of Felix in a soft glow. He is… lovely. Not just here, but always.

Does Felix know how lovely he is? Especially like this, oddly vulnerable considering his usual state. He'd always assumed as much in the past, but now… 

Leaning in closer, he hesitates. Holds his breath. He's crouched on one knee before he can think better of it, Dimitri's fingers ghosting over his skin just to brush his hair out of his face and behind his ear. 

Maybe… just once. Once, because he doubts he'll ever get the chance again.

He hesitates for a mere few moments more before leaning in to press the gentlest of kisses to his cheek, barely there at all, soft as the touch of a butterfly's wings.

And then he's gone, left with nothing but self-loathing and the strangest pang of loneliness that refuses to dissipate-- even after he shuts off the television and makes his way up the stairs to his dormitory. 

He'll call Ingrid tomorrow. Maybe she'll have some advice. 

&

"I'm going to kill him," Ingrid tells him first thing the next day, her voice coming loud through the phone. "Put him on."

"Oh, he's-- he's not here, Ingrid. Apologies. He left a few days ago."

"Well, the next time you see him, please do let him know that I'm going to kill him. The bet was never about that!"

Dimitri blinks. "It wasn't?"

"No! It was about you two finally confessing and getting together! He just makes everything ever about sex!"

Ah. That makes more sense. "But… you do still have a stake in this, then?"

"Obviously. I put a lot of money into you two making the most of that break."

He clears his throat. Runs his hand down his face. 

"Ingrid, I fear I've been reading into every one of Felix's actions. In… excess, truly. I can no longer distinguish between normal human decency and, ah… something more?"

"All right," Ingrid starts. "Tell me what he's been doing."

Dimitri does, taking care not to leave out any details. 

"If we were talking about a normal person, then I'd agree with your basic human decency theory," Ingrid finally says after a bit of time to consider it. "But we're talking about Felix. So I'd say the question is between whether it's just a matter of efficiency or if there's more to it." A beat."You know what the solution is, don't you?"

"Er. No?"

"You need to be the one to inject a bit of romance into the atmosphere! Dim the lights, light some candles, play… I don't know, romantic music-- anything to give him that bit of a push to realize that you mean business!"

"Isn't that… a bit on the nose? I don't want to force it… or change this, um, tentative friendship that's coming back." 

"Well, I'm sure one of those things wouldn't be overkill. Just give it your best shot, maybe even try, I don't know, _talking_ to him?"

Talking to Felix. Now there's a novel idea. 

"Thank you, Ingrid. I will do my best."

&

His best, as it turns out, leaves a great deal to be desired. 

The first time he attempts to light a candle to set the mood in the rec room, Felix promptly blows it out alongside his comment that it's a fire hazard, and that there's a reason that candles aren't allowed in the dormitory. Turning on music results in Felix snapping that he's trying to concentrate, and that Chopin is distracting him from reading. 

Removing light bulbs to create dimmer lighting proved not to be an option after he removed two only for Felix to ask him what he was doing, and… they already take turns making dinner.

So he decides to head out and shovel more snow, his heart heavy as he goes through his options. Perhaps a romantic movie? If Felix was willing… 

The snowball hits him right on the back of his neck, Dimitri jumping with a soft yelp. 

"Felix! You startled me!" 

"Yeah, well, establish a better defense!" Felix yells, hurtling another snowball at him. 

This one lands on the old oak beside him, Dimitri scrambling to take cover behind the mountain of white he's already shoveled off the sidewalks, gloved hands clumsily forming snowballs. 

"No ice balls!" Felix yells from behind a bush, Dimitri letting out a laugh as he lets another snowball sail toward him, hitting him on the arm. 

"I'm not trying to kill you, Felix!"

"Sure you're not!"

Firing off three of his in quick succession, one of them just grazing Felix's head, Dimitri ducks back down to form several more out of this afternoon's work. 

He never gets to fire them: as soon as he comes back up to throw one at Felix, he's tackled down into the soft pillow of snow beneath, Dimitri's laughter joining Felix's-- until he looks up and sees just how close they are. 

Felix is mere heartbeats away from his lips, and Dimitri feels his breath catching as the laughter stills entirely. 

They both lean in, he thinks-- but it doesn't matter, not when they're kissing in the next moment, Dimitri's hands finding the front of his coat to tug him closer, suddenly desperate to act on the feelings he's had for far too long now. 

Has Felix known, he wonders? If so, for how long? 

How long have they both played fools?

He's panting by the time Felix draws back, some of his hair having come loose to fall into Dimitri's face. 

"I, um." Felix's eyes flicker down to Dimitri's lips. He holds his breath. "Need to leave now."

The weight of Felix's body shifts off of him in the next instant, Felix clambering up to bolt, fast-walking straight to the door. If his cheeks are flushed red from embarrassment or the cold, he can't tell. All he really knows is that Felix is beautiful-- even more so in the light of the sparkling sunlit gleam of the snow. 

&

Felix avoids him after that, not that Dimitri necessarily expected anything else. The meals that Dimitri prepares for them disappear as Felix takes them upstairs, and the meals that Felix makes result in a full plate at his usual spot and little else. 

It starts to genuinely wear on him after two days of Felix holing up in his room, Dimitri's heart aching as he passes by the door. 

And stops. If he wants something to change… 

Turning around, he heads back to the door, his heart beating a heavy tattoo against his ribcage as he knocks. 

"Felix? I think-- I think we should talk."

He's met with silence for long enough that Dimitri is half-convinced that it's the only answer he'll get out of Felix-- when the door opens. 

Just like before, just like always, Felix doesn't hesitate: he grabs hold of Dimitri's front and pulls him into another searing kiss, this one more feverish than the first. 

He ends up pushed against a wall, Dimitri not even sure when Felix managed to pull him so far into the room-- but he's not complaining. His hands are in Felix's hair, Felix smells like pine, and his lips have never felt so bruised from kissing. 

"I like you," Dimitri hears himself blurt out the second Felix pulls back from his lips, suddenly desperate to take advantage of the brief window of time presented to him. 

Instead of going in for another kiss, Felix pulls back, his gaze dropping to the ground. "Yeah. That."

The lump in Dimitri's throat grows noticeably until it's almost too thick to swallow around. "That?"

"I don't kiss people I don't like."

If his eyes aren't deceiving him, Felix's cheeks are pink as he stalks off, leaving Dimitri alone in his dorm room. It might be wishful thinking, but-- 

Dimitri hopes not.

&

Things go back to relative normalcy after that, Felix once more capable of spending time in the same room as Dimitri, cooking with him, watching movies with him. The only difference now is that, sometimes, Felix will kiss him.

And sometimes, Dimitri gets to kiss him, too.

There are no labels to enlighten Dimitri as to what they are, or what this thing between them is, but… if it's not love, he's not sure he could imagine anything closer. 

Not that he's about to tell Felix that. 

The risk is far too great. And he's not about to give up the new perks of this grand… _unknown_ between them, not once Felix decides that they're done paying attention to their movie, slides across the couch, and straddles him. 

Dimitri ends up shamefully coming in his pants that night after Felix's grinding leads to a bit too much friction, but-- if he knows, Felix doesn't remark on it. It simply serves as a good reminder. 

Of the fact that he has a dick. 

They _both_ do, a fact that seems inescapable all of a sudden. Even the simple act of showering suddenly feels erotic, Dimitri daydreaming about the possibility of Felix coming in and deciding to join him in his stall instead of heading into his own. 

They watch a movie together that night-- the first in several days. And by the time they're halfway through, Felix is dead asleep on the couch beside him. 

He doesn't get a blanket to lay over Felix, not that time. Instead, he turns off the movie, lifts him up in his arms, and carries him upstairs to his room.

Felix doesn't wake-- or, if he does, he doesn't protest. He just curls tighter into Dimitri's form. 

&

"I… want him," he admits quietly while on the phone with Sylvain the next day. "And I think he wants me too, but…" 

"Okay, well, _first_ , don't tell Ingrid anything that you just told me, all right? And second, um, hello? He literally dry-humped you. For fifteen minutes. He's sticking his tongue down your throat. What more confirmation do you need?" A beat. "Ugh, I should have known you wouldn't have been able to keep it in your pants…"

"We're not… anything official. We're just making out here and there. But I'm afraid that if I say anything, I'll ruin this, and he won't want to kiss me anymore."

"Well… that does sound like something Felix would do."

Dimitri stares, unblinking. "That's… ah. Very reassuring. Thank you, Sylvain."

"I mean, I assume you're in for the truth, right? No point in me buttering you up only for him to dump you." 

Sighing, Dimitri allows himself to fall back onto his bed with a soft thud. He doesn't listen to anything Sylvain says after that, the words drowned out by his own thoughts. 

He keeps agreeing, peppering in little _mhm_ s whenever appropriate-- until a noise comes through the wall, just loud enough to set itself apart from the white noise that is Sylvain's voice. 

"Ah-- apologies, Sylvain. I'm afraid I must go." 

He hangs up before waiting for a response, Dimitri straining to make out the sounds filtering through the wall from Felix's room next-door-- for what they are. 

Moans, whimpers.

His eyes go wide. 

_Is Felix_ \--?

His own cock twitches in his pants just as Felix cries out his name. _Ah_. The urge to get up and knock on Felix’s room is nigh overwhelming. 

He forces it back down, instead hesitating for a few moments before frantically, resolutely, undoing his slacks and pulling his own cock out. 

It’s not something he’s used to doing, really. There’s a reason he came so quickly when offered just a little bit of friction. But-- it’s hard not to wish that Felix should know. 

If he knocked on the door now, would Felix stop? Would he get louder, more insistent? If he heard Dimitri through the wall, panting and calling his own name, would he come over? 

Would he get on the bed and climb on top of him? 

Straddle him so they might come together?

A shudder runs through him as Dimitri starts stroking himself, slow and steady, his mind desperate to imagine that it’s Felix’s hand wrapped around him, eager to tease. He wishes it was, wishes he had the guts to just walk in on Felix and kiss him silly. 

What would Felix say, if he saw him like this now? Would he mock him and call him a pervert boar? Would he put him out of his misery and join him? 

Would he allow Dimitri to get on his knees and make him come?

The thought finds him undone: Dimitri comes with a sharp cry, sharp enough that he’s not sure if Felix might have heard him or not. 

By the time he comes down from his high, there’s nothing but silence to be found on the other side of the wall. 

&

His torment continues to follow him all the same. 

Everywhere he looks, sex seems to be front and center-- including where it wasn’t before. 

From hearing him masturbate to walking in on him showering, not only is the tv show they’ve been watching suddenly filled with sex at every turn, a gay romance included, but when Felix tries to click on the next episode, the pop ups and ads are somehow filled with pornography. 

“We should have just used a regular streaming service,” Dimitri mutters, watching as Felix scrambles to close inappropriate windows so he might find a better mirror link. “We could have used your father’s account.”

“I’m not doing that,” Felix declares, shutting his laptop and disconnecting the HDMI cable from the television. It takes Dimitri a good few moments to realize just how red in the face Felix is. 

It… was all gay porn, wasn’t it?

He tries not to think about it that night in bed, but it's nigh impossible, and his dreams end up filled by Felix, legs spread and flushed. 

He wakes up hard and sweating, Dimitri getting into the shower first thing in an attempt to feel even remotely sane again. _Anything_ other than horny, really. 

But it's not to be. For one thing, it's hardly an option in the middle of winter to take a cold shower, and for another-- 

Felix steps in shortly after him, Dimitri cursing his half-mast erection at the sound of the door closing, footsteps padding over first into the changing room, and then into the stall beside him. 

"Are you stalking me now, Felix?" he quips, doing his damnedest not to think about Felix, wet, soapy, and naked. 

"At least I didn't stare at you for ten minutes first." 

Felix's shower turns on beside him, Dimitri staring at the wall before him. Oh. 

Oh no. 

"I didn't know you'd… known."

"There was a breeze coming in while you hovered in the doorway, _of course_ I knew." 

A long moment passes, Dimitri letting the silence soak into his skin alongside his body wash. "Apologies," he finally mutters, turning to face the wall separating them to place his hand against it. As though he might be able to make it disappear. "You-- you were breathtaking. I couldn't help myself."

Felix chuckles. "I'm sure you say that to all the boys."

Dimitri shakes his head before answering. "No, just-- just you."

For a moment, there's shuffling on the other side, wet footsteps. It sounds almost like he's just about out of the water, closer than before. 

"Maybe you should be touching yourself, boar."

Dimitri stares. "R-right now?"

A beat. "... actually, yeah. Touch yourself."

His heart skips a beat, Dimitri leaning his forehead against the wall between them and wrapping his hand around himself. Almost instantly, his hips jerk forward, Dimitri gasping at the contact. "A-all right."

As if he hadn't expected him to actually do it, Felix falls silent behind the partition. Finally, "Are you moving your hand?"

"Yes."

"What are you thinking about, boar?"

He has to resist the urge to whimper. "You."

"G-good. Don't-- don't stop."

His breath catches. "Are you touching yourself, Felix?"

"Mm." 

He doesn't need the confirmation, can hear how breathless Felix sounds, the soft pants and moans leaving him even despite the noise of the shower's spray behind each of them. His hand speeds up, Dimitri closing his eyes to imagine it properly-- them, in the same stall, kissing hard as his hand wraps around both of them at once to stroke. Felix, pliant and willing in his arms, reduced to moans and whimpers. Dimitri, pushing him against the walls to enter him--

"Ngh-- _ah_ \--!" he moans as he comes against the wall between them. Felix sounds, if not close, as though he follows right after, and in light of the clarity provided by the post-coital glow, he almost feels as though they _did_ get to do this together. 

&

The novelty of that experience wears off by the time lunch rolls around. 

"Just… I don't understand why he keeps maintaining this distance," Dimitri says, pacing through the foyer and wishing he could play with a phone cord to distract his anxious hands. "Doesn't he want the same thing?"

"Obviously he does, I think he's just waiting for you to take the initiative!" It's audible on the other end that Ingrid is eating. "You need to romance him properly! Bed him, you know."

"Yeah, I tried that. But he seems allergic to romance?"

"All right, then why don't you try food?"

Of course Ingrid would suggest food. "We already cook for each other, Ingrid. And together, sometimes."

"No, I mean it's about the type of food! I'm going to send you a recipe, all right? People swear by it." 

"All right. I'm willing to try anything."

&

One email from Ingrid, one shopping trip, and one makeout session in the library later, Dimitri is stuffing lemons into a bird. 

"What are you doing?" 

Dimitri jumps, doing his best to cover up the dish with his body as he turns around. "Nothing."

"It's my turn to make dinner tonight."

He's not wrong about that. Dimitri offers him a wry smile. "I… had an idea for a recipe I wanted to try out. You can cook tomorrow."

"Mm…" Felix's eyes narrow, suspicious. "Fine. Just… call me when it's ready, I guess."

Almost as soon as Felix is out of sight, Dimitri is scrambling to get the rest of the herbs on the chicken and the dish into the oven. He's not even sure why he wants this to be a surprise. There's nothing inherently romantic about… chicken, even if it has supposedly led to an astonishing number of proposals.

He just needs to be patient. 

Under normal circumstances, he is. Then again, Dimitri rarely has things to be impatient about. He takes his time setting the table, grabbing a few candles-- or, as Felix likes to call them, fire hazards-- and doing his best to set the mood, but by the time he's done, he's still got almost an hour to go.

Time passes agonizingly slowly, and by the time the chicken is finally done, Dimitri has thrown together a quick salad, put on some romantic music, uncorked a wine bottle, and… noticed a considerable temperature change. 

It's… oddly cold, prompting him to bring in some blankets for both of them just as the timer goes off.

"Felix!" he calls into the library as soon as he's got the chicken out and served, Dimitri's heart hammering in his chest. This is… fine. Normal, even. 

"... what is all this?" Felix asks, allowing his gaze to roam over the dimmed lighting, the candles, the flowers, and the food. 

"I wanted us to get to have a romantic dinner date, so…"

"Like a couple."

Dimitri nods, bracing himself. 

To his great surprise-- and relief-- Felix just goes to sit down, allowing Dimitri to serve him. 

"It's, um... a lot," he says, clearly still taking in the ambience. They might not be able to go out to restaurants, but they can bring the atmosphere home to them. "It's nice." 

The last bit is murmured, soft and quiet. Dimitri feels lucky to have heard it at all, watching as Felix pulls the blanket around his shoulders as Dimitri goes to sit down. His hands are, admittedly, starting to feel somewhat cold.

"I'm really glad you like it."

"I never said that," Felix mutters, cheeks tinging with color as he cuts himself a bite of chicken. 

From the look on his face, he likes it just fine.

&

The hall only seems to get colder as their dinner goes on, and by the time they watch their movie, they end up bundled under a blanket together for warmth. 

"Felix," Dimitri says toward the end, Felix having opted to use his lap as a footrest, "is it… kind of cold to you?"

That earns him a stare, sarcasm practically dripping from Felix's expression. "No, I'm sure we're under here for no reason."

"Do you think the boiler broke?"

"No." A beat. "I have no idea what's wrong with the heat. Go fix it if it bothers you that much."

"I just fear that it may make it difficult to sleep." 

Felix's stare is hard, expectant. "So?"

"So…" He glances up, frowning. What _is_ his solution? He can't fix a broken boiler. "I'll check if we have extra heaters somewhere."

"Don't worry about it," Felix snaps, pulling his feet off of Dimitri's lap to sit up and torn off the-- still playing-- movie. "I'll just layer up and deal with it."

Left in the dark following Felix's exit, Dimitri can't help but feel as though he's done something wrong. _Should_ he have attempted to fix the boiler? Surely he could have made things worse that way… 

Getting up, he checks the thermostat. Cold. And--

Wait. 

Pressing the button to raise the temperature, Dimitri watches as it rises… seamlessly. 

_Oh_.

Realization washes over him alongside a pang of longing, and before he can stop himself, Dimitri is rushing upstairs, so much so that he's out of breath by the time he gets to Felix's door. 

"Felix," he says, not bothering to knock as he opens the door.

" _What_."

"Sleep in bed with me tonight."

Felix's stare is hard as he turns to look at him, arms crossed in front of his chest. "Why should I?"

"It's, um." He clears his throat. "It's my solution. Because of the heat."

"Hmm."

"Please, Felix. I-- I don't want to be cold."

Felix knows he's lying. Of course he does. Dimitri has always run hot compared to Felix-- though, compared to Felix, most people do. He'll be the one cold. And Dimitri, a furnace, would make a great cuddle companion… given that Dimitri's experimentation had him raising the temperature by nothing more than a few degrees. 

But… Felix also likes to be needed. Wanted. 

And he's been a fool. 

"Fine." Grabbing his pillow and blanket, he starts trudging toward the door, expression still sour. "But if you start snoring, I'm out and you can freeze to death." 

"I won't, I swear!"

They get settled into his bed easily enough. It's a narrow bed, but far less narrow than most, and they both fit comfortably onto the mattress, especially once Dimitri is embracing him from behind. 

"Fuck, you're warm," Felix mutters, pushing back against him. Grinding, really.

Dimitri wonders if he's doing it on purpose, his cock stirring dangerously. 

As if taunting, testing him, Felix does it again, rotating his hips to provoke a reaction. 

He inhales, sharp. "Felix--"

"Is that going to be a problem, boar?" 

"I--"

Felix doesn't wait for him to finish speaking, just reaching back to slip his hand between their bodies to stroke his cock, slow. "Didn't you just come earlier in the shower?"

If he could speak, he'd tell Felix that he could have gone again right after that shower, if only Felix had let him. It would have been easy, just sliding home… but, as it is, coherence is an impossibility, and Dimitri allows his head to fall forward onto his shoulder. 

" _Felix_ \--"

"Are you going to be able to control yourself, boar?"

He hesitates. Shakes his head.

"What do you need?"

" _You_."

Felix's hand stills. "Tell me properly."

"I-- _want you_." _Desperately_ , his mind adds for him.

"How?"

His face is already burning. "In every way." Pulling his arms around Felix, he nuzzles his neck, just beneath his ear, pressing a soft kiss there. "Always. I never stop thinking about you. I-- I love you, Felix."

In his arms, Felix freezes. It's clearly not what he expected to hear, but-- it's the truth all the same. 

The hand is removed from between them. 

"You don't want to fuck me?"

"I want to make love to you."

Felix's hand finds the fabric at Dimitri's hip to grip hold of. "Well, then what are you waiting for? Permission?"

It's Dimitri's turn to hesitate. "Is it… okay?"

"Is what?"

"For me to want you this much."

Felix turns wordlessly in his arms, reaching up to cup his face and kiss him. His lips are soft, just as soft as he remembers from earlier that day, except that-- this time feels different. They're going to do more this time. 

And Felix is… fine with it, fine with his desire. He's not even sure how or why he's supposed to deserve this much from Felix, but he's grateful all the same. 

"Touch me," Felix says, voice soft.

He doesn't have to ask twice, Dimitri eager to do far more than just touch. Even so, just getting to trace the outline of his cock feels like a privilege, a sharp gasp leaving him. 

"I don't know how to do this."

"Well-- I do," Felix mutters, averting his gaze as he turns to push half his face into the pillow. His cheeks are burning. "I've… practiced."

"Practiced? With what? _Here_?"

"It doesn't matter, and no, not here! Where would I do it here? This place doesn't have any privacy." 

At home, then. Dimitri allows himself to visualize it for a second, his breath catching. "... show me?"

"Ugh," Felix says, extricating himself to get out of the bed. "I'm grabbing the lube."

He doesn't tarry. By the time he's back, Dimitri has stripped down to just his underwear, Felix quickly following suit upon seeing it. The front of his boxer briefs is slowly gaining a wet spot, precome impatiently leaking out of him. 

Setting the lube on the side table, Felix pushes down his own underwear before squirting some onto his fingers and getting on all fours, Dimitri behind him. 

"I'm not doing this more than once, boar," Felix says, a shiver running through him. "So you better watch closely."

Dimitri does. Elegant and graceful as ever, Felix reaches back from under himself to press one long digit inside, and then, as soon as he's in, adding another, a low moan leaving him. 

If anything, it's nearly impossible to look away at all, to tear his gaze off of him even for a second. The way he fingers his hole, slow and meticulous, curling his fingers just so as to make his cock twitch and leak onto the bed. 

"Felix…" They'll have to sleep in Felix's bed tonight, but that's fine. He doesn't care. They can do the laundry tomorrow.

"Think you can do that?" Felix asks, groaning as he goes a bit faster.

Dimitri doesn't bother answering, just grabbing the lube to squirt some onto his own fingers. Waiting for Felix to withdraw his, he eagerly replaces them with his own, a good bit thicker-- enough so as to make Felix hiss in pleasure. 

What he assumes to be pleasure.

"Good?" he asks, starting slow as he thrusts them in and out of him. 

"F-faster, I'm not made of porcelain--"

He complies with ease, Dimitri curling his fingers precisely as shown. "You're so beautiful," he tells him just as Felix whimpers again, his hips jerking forward. 

"Add another."

It's a tight fit, but Felix seems to be practically reveling in the sensation of it, the stretch, and before long, he's working in a fourth.

"Boar," he groans, his own lubed fingers twisting into the sheets beneath him. "Just fuck me already--"

"If you're sure--"

"Don't you dare make me ask again," he fires over his shoulder, Dimitri reaching for the lubricant again as he slowly withdraws his fingers. 

And hesitates. 

"Felix."

"What."

"Do you think… ah, do you think you could be on your back?"

Whatever Felix expected, it clearly wasn't that, and he seems to think about it for a long moment before rolling over, face bright red and gaze averted. "Sentimental fool."

"Thank you," he whispers, leaning in to kiss Felix-- a kiss he readily returns. 

It's as if Felix had been made for him, Dimitri starting to pushing inside-- pausing whenever Felix hisses or winces. It's slow going, but he doesn't want to hurt him, wants this to be a good first time for both of them. 

And when he manages to get the head in, it doesn't matter how loud Felix is-- nor how sharp his moans are as he slides the rest of the way inside. It's just them. 

With the whole place to themselves. 

Really, he should be sending Sylvain a gift basket, and not only for losing him his bet. 

"Felix," he gasps once fully sheathed inside, his eyes fluttering closed as he rests his forehead against his. "You feel--"

"Fuck, don't, just-- just fuck me, please--"

He complies, his movements slow to start when he realizes that Felix is crying, slow tears rolling down his temples for Dimitri to kiss away, his hips stilling. "Do you-- do you need me to stop?"

Shaking his head, Felix pulls him closer again. "No, I just-- it's fine. I'm fine."

"I'm not going to keep making love to you while you're crying, Felix."

Felix stubbornly looks away, almost pouting. "The-- thing you said earlier."

"That I'm in love with you?"

"Mm." Felix nods.

A momentary silence settles between them, heavy.

"Felix," Dimitri starts, treading carefully. "Are you… in love with me, too?"

As if on cue, Felix's eyes flutter closed. Still pouting. "Maybe."

"Why would you be frightened?" Leaning in to nuzzle his cheek, Dimitri offers a kiss. "Haven't I… wanted you this whole time?"

This is an odd conversation to be having while still inside of him.

"Not officially. You've been avoiding me. For a while now. I know you didn't even want to be left alone here with me."

Dimitri stares, suddenly speechless. 

"Please be my boyfriend," he blurts out, all restraint out the window. All this time, he's been holding back, and Felix-- "Please. Please, I don't want anything el--"

He doesn't get to finish, Felix's arms winding around his neck to pull him into another kiss, messy and slightly salty, legs tightening around his waist to spur him on to move once more. Gentle, slow. _Making love_ , properly. The way Felix deserves to be loved. 

Even with as impatient as he is. 

He reaches down to touch him-- properly, bare this time-- and strokes, desperate for them to come together. 

They almost do: Felix cries out against his lips, body arching against his as he clenches around him, and Dimitri is his willing captive, following right behind at his body's beckoning. 

"I love you," he murmurs against his skin as Felix slowly comes down from his high, body still trembling and breath coming fast. "I love you, Felix."

Felix nods against him, and Dimitri understands. 

They do end up relocating to Felix's room, changing into new underwear and pajamas along the way, eager to ignore the mess they made of the bed and each other. It's nice. The bed is delightfully warm with Felix in his arms, and Dimitri finds that he could drift off without much thought or hesitation for once. 

"We should… call Sylvain," Felix murmurs into his chest.

"Mm? Why?"

"Oh, just Schadenfreude. He lost a bet against Ingrid. Remind me to tell you about it in the morning."

**Author's Note:**

> The engagement chicken is a real thing!! it's [delicious](https://www.glamour.com/story/engagement-chicken)!! 
> 
> Come talk to me about dimilix over on [twitter](https://www.twitter.com/androugenius)!! :D


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